Monday, 17 June 2013

Being Happy In Marriage By Being The Man

When you are a unhappily married man, it is difficult to be truly happy. Sure, you may like your job and enjoy being with your kids, family and friends. But when you can't stand being with your wife, life is bad.
The constant feelings of rejection and repetitive arguing are very draining. The thought of entering the house after work is daunting. You already have enough stress working to pay the bills. Home should be a place of comfort and salvation, your oasis in the desert of life. And your wife should be a source of security, inspiration and sex. But for lots of men, home is hell.

It is easy to try and distract yourself from the realities of your marriage. You get so involved with the kids and their activities that you don't realize your relationship has changed. You seldom sit and talk to your wife anymore. And when was the last time you and your wife laughed and had any fun?

Even when you try and go out for a "date", the conversation often takes a turn for the worse. How many times have you gone out to dinner and ended up talking about the problems in your relationship? Next time you go to a restaurant in the evening, notice how many couples eat their food without exchanging pleasantries or smiling.

And sex, the sex is almost non-existent. When you do have sex, it is not fun anymore. Sex is strictly about release, with no feelings of love.

None of us really want to admit that our marriage has failed. And since we are guys, we don't feel very comfortable talking about our emotions. And we certainly don't want to admit to other guys that we aren't having sex with our wives. That is the worst!

Just understand that you are not alone. Bad marriages are an epidemic and sadly you are one of the statistics. 50% of all marriages end in divorce and the majority of the others are miserable, just waiting for the right opportunity to pull the plug.

You never anticipated this life when you walked down the aisle. But over time you may have gotten sucked into the "Yes Dear" lifestyle. Since your wife is supposed to be your only outlet for sex, you have become beholden to her for your most basic needs. As a result, she now wears the pants in the relationship.

But we must take some responsibility for getting ourselves into this predicament. We have let our wives run the house and stopped being the man. And let me tell you, women don't want to have sex with a child, they want a real man. They want a man that is masculine, who knows how to romance them and treats them special.

In talking to a lot of guys, the ones that seem to have maintained the position of "being the man" in the relationship have the good marriages. They have maintained their confidence, share in making decisions and they romance their wives. They have also continued to give their wives the emotional support that they need by listening to and supporting them. They go to bed with their wives' heads on their chests, not the other way around.

And here is the key!

Men that are happy in marriage maintain the attitude that they are The Man of the house. They work hard and support the family. They provide the emotional support that their wife needs. And they also maintain the attitude that a woman's role is to provide sex to her husband. It is not necessarily spoken, but it is implied. And we all know that if we are getting our needs satisfied we will be confident and happy.

Marriage is not easy. In fact, it is very complicated. Yet, one day you wake up and realize that you are not happy. You say to yourself, how the heck did I get myself into this predicament?

You have choices at this juncture: 1) You can stay complacent and remain miserable; 2) You can work on your marriage and try to regain your position as the man of the house; or 3) You can throw in the towel and move forward with divorce.

This topic is obviously a lot more complicated that I can address in one post. Keep reading Man To Man Talks. And please share stories and comments. Happiness is around the corner.

Steve Schloss is the author of "The Man's Secret to a Happy and Sexy Marriage in Less Than 10 Minutes a Day"

Steve is an author, public speaker and men's relationship acceleration coach that offers one-on-one coaching to help men rejuvenate the fun and love in their marriage virtually overnight. Visit my website and download my latest e-book FREE: "HOW TO ROMANCE YOUR WIFE IN MARRIAGE."

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